quick tips – Charlee Creative

Five Elements of Emotion for Beginning Fiction Writers

The most common mistake beginning fiction writers make is focusing on what happens, or external plot, while neglecting emotion. It isn’t the writers’ fault. They’ve been taught to do this. In school, facts are often preferred over subjective feelings, reactions, and interpretations. In modern fiction, emotion is critical to good storytelling.

I often forget the titles of favorite books I’ve read, but I never forget the characters. By the end of a good novel, I’ve grown close to them and experienced their joys, fears, and passions. In character-focused fiction, emotions drive the story as much, if not more, than the plot. The emotions must be as carefully crafted as any other element of the story. Let’s take a look at a scene from Night Sins by Tami Hoag:

Hannah shook her head. Her hand trembled violently as she set her mug back on the tray, sloshing coffee over the rim. Ignoring the mess, she folded herself in two, hugging her knees, dry sobs racking her body. Someone had stolen her son. In the blink of an eye Josh was gone from their lives, taken by a faceless stranger to a nameless place for a purpose no mother ever wanted to consider. She wondered if he was cold, if he was frightened, if he was thinking of her and wondering why she hadn’t come for him. She wondered if he was alive.

Although Hannah’s emotions are never explicitly identified in this passage, it is hard not to experience the agony, guilt, and fear of a mother whose child has been abducted. One of the first rules of writing good fiction is ‘show, don’t tell.’ ‘Telling’ the emotions present in a scene, would only distance the reader from the very emotions the author intended her to experience. So, by what means do we show emotion?

The Five Elements of Emotion in Fiction

Actions

The character’s actions are an outward indicator of inner feelings. When confronted with a fire-breathing monster the character turns and runs. He is feeling fear.

Dialogue

Dialogue is another outward indicator of emotion. At times it’s appropriate for a character to label their own emotions, but this can be as flat as labeling emotions in narration. More often the dialogue will indicate emotion in some indirect way. Later the fleeing character’s partner asks, “How could you just leave me there to face that monster alone? Did you want me to die?” We understand the character is feeling betrayed.

Body Language

You’ve heard that body language is 90 percent of communication. I don’t know how accurate that is, but the idea is an important one. Body language is super easy to add into dialogue tags to boost or contradict the words your characters speak. A character can claim to be happy, but you know there is more to the story if they are gripping the steering wheel so tightly their knuckles turn white.

Physical Reactions

Physical sensations, that tight feeling in the characters chest, the frantic heartbeat, and other telltale signs of some reaction can convey emotion convincingly. Keep in mind; however, a single reaction could be interpreted differently under different circumstances. A rapid heartbeat could be caused by excitement, fear, arousal, or simply exertion. It can be tricky to find new ways to word these generic reactions, but it is important to avoid overusing common phrases, such as “her heart leapt into her throat.”

Thoughts

A character might reveal emotions in their thoughts, but again avoid labeling. The character doesn’t think, “I’m angry.” She thinks, “I wanted to slap the smirk off his face.”

The passage from Night Sins incorporated actions, physical reactions, and thoughts to build a gripping, emotional scene. When a character’s emotions are straightforward all of these indicators can be used in combination to make those emotions crystal clear. When the character is feeling one emotion and trying to outwardly portray some other emotion, you’ll need to use contradicting indicators. This is bound to happen at some point in the story. The dragon slayer puts on a brave front, but inwardly he’s terrified. Typically, body language, physical reaction, and thoughts reflect the true underlying emotion while actions and dialogue convey what the character wants other characters to believe.

Complex Emotions

All of the techniques discussed so far, focus on the emotions of the moment. It is important not to forget the big picture. In a great novel, the characters are complex and their emotions change over time. Fiction is all about conflict, both external and internal. Emotional conflicts often come from conflicting motivations, desires, and goals. The character wants two things that conflict: to exact revenge on Mr. X—to keep the love and respect of Mr. X’s daughter. The character might love the daughter and at the same time resent her for standing in the way of his goal of revenge. The key to pulling off complex emotions is in laying the groundwork. Characters must be consistent to be believable. If you merely show moment-to-moment emotional reactions that conflict, the reader will be confused. Carefully build the reader’s understanding of each emotion and motivation before you mix conflicting emotions into a complex scene.

Conflict and emotions drive your novel forward and keep your reader involved. The time you spend motivating them and helping the reader understand your characters is crucial to successfully crafting a complex, rich story your reader will remember long after The End.

The Secret to Writing Distinct Dialogue

If you’ve ever been told all of your characters sound the same, then you understand how frustrating it can be to try to fix this problem. When I first began to work on dialogue, I tried all of the common techniques: choose vocabulary based on education and background, use appropriate slang or dialect (sparingly!), make your men more direct and let your women ask more questions. All of these things are valid, but in the end all of my dialogue felt false and forced.

So… I went to the master of dialogue—Joss Whedon. I didn’t actually go to him personally of course, but to his body of work. I watched scenes and compared the characters in a scene, but that wasn’t helping. Finally, instead of comparing dialog using that same vocabulary-jargon-gender way of thinking; I started looking at how characters responded with dialogue to a particular stimulus. Eureka!

I found one major event and looked at the dialog of characters responding to learning about that event. Each character responded very differently. They saw and responded to the event through their own filter of views, background, and personality.

The idea of writing through the filter of the character will be familiar to authors who already write using the close-third point of view. It’s a common concept for coloring internal dialogue, but it’s equally important to writing spoken dialogue. The key is knowing your characters and developing them fully. Often, working to develop characterization has the direct result of improving dialogue. However, you might also consider adding a ‘dialogue’ pass to your editing routine to review and sharpen dialogue. The place where weak dialogue is most glaringly obvious is in extended conversations, so they merit extra attention.

Here are a few tips for ensuring that your characters come through in their dialogue. After you’ve written a conversation, stop and think about how you can use these tips to strengthen your dialogue.

Emotion – How does a conversation trigger your characters’ emotions? How can you reveal that emotion? Take this one step further and consider personality. One character might always turn to a joke when stressed while another responds with anger.

Background – Is there something in a character’s background that might influence the way they respond in a particular situation? For example, a Viking warrior who has converted to Christianity still turns to the Norse gods when he needs a comparison. He praises a young boy, saying he is as clever as Loki and as constant as Thor.

Goals and Motivations – What are the characters’ fears, insecurities, hopes, and dreams? Can these be reflected in the dialogue? Be careful here. Try to make the reveal indirect, using subtext whenever possible. A teen character who feels he’s trapped in a home that punishes his vibrant personality might replace the word home with jail house when speaking to a friend: I’m headed back to the jail house. The subtext is communicated to the reader without resorting to direct complaints or telling and the personality of the character comes through in the dialogue.

Surprise – Always consider what would be most interesting or surprising. Always strive for memorable dialogue. It will naturally be more distinctive.

I used some of these techniques in the scene below to differentiate Callie and Laney. The first version of this conversation conveyed the necessary information, but it was boring and flat. To elevate the dialog, I considered both the characters’ goals and personalities then looked for something surprising to make the conversation memorable. These two women have similar background, vocabulary, and even a similar sense of humor, but this short phone conversation makes it clear that Laney is restless and rebellious; she is not fond of domestic bliss. At this point in the story the reader already knows that domestic bliss is Callie’s greatest wish.

Already in the kitchen, Callie decided to start the coffee. She pressed the machine’s start button with one hand and pressed Dara’s speed dial number on her phone with the other, but it was Laney who answered.

“You’ve reached the poster home for domesticity,” she said in monotone. “State your business before I die of boredom.”

Callie shook her head at Laney’s antics and teased, “If you die, can I have your wardrobe?”

“Sure. Just promise you’ll leave me something fun to be buried in.”

“Geez, Laney. That is way too morbid.”

“You started it, Copper-Top.”

Callie laughed, picturing Laney as she last saw her. “At least my hair color is natural. Are you still sporting Easter-grass green?”

“Naw. Cougar said green hair wasn’t ladylike enough.”

“I don’t think I want to know what you changed it to.”

Laney and Cougar, her boss, always seemed to be in the middle of their own private war. “Where’s Dara?”

“Dara and Johnny are in the living room watching cartoons in their PJs. It’s so quiet around here I think I might slip into a comatose state at any minute.”

Dialogue is a vital part of your story and one upon which readers often heap high expectations. Some readers skim description, others skim narrative. Few readers skim dialogue and that makes it worth spending extra time and energy on ensuring your characters come through between the quote marks.

If you have more tips and tricks for better dialogue, please share them in the comments. Learning is a never ending process!

Article first appeared at www.savvyauthors.com

Three Quick and Easy Tips for Punching Up Your Fiction

Remember that old saying, the devil is in the details? I like to twist it a bit and say, when it comes to writing, the strength is in the details. Here are three quick writing techniques that focus on the fine points of writing to give your work more impact.

1) Focus description on significant details!
Not all details are created equal and not everything in your story needs to be described. Focus your powers of description on things that are important to your story—the significant details. What makes a detail significant?

Any detail that is integral to the plot must be shared. If a letter opener on the hero’s desk is going to be a weapon later in the story, then you’d better show it to us in that earlier scene where he’s sitting in his office. However, we probably don’t need a detailed description of the bookcase, the chair, the… you get the point.

Another type of significant detail is one that shows the reader something about the character or his situation. If the suit Mr. Zucker wears to church has a discreet patch at one elbow, we know his family is probably struggling financially. Sometimes these types of details are more subtle or symbolic. If the scene that introduces Mary Jane shows her standing barefoot amidst the broken glass spread across the kitchen floor, it becomes significant that she is barefoot and subconsciously we will pick up on the fact that this character is vulnerable.

2) Eradicate filter words!
Filter words put distance between the reader and the character. Words like saw and felt remind the reader that they are reading a story rather than experiencing it. For example:

Basic: He felt the wind on his cheeks.

Stronger: The wind stung his cheeks.

The stronger sentence provides more sensual detail and lets the reader feel what the character is feeling. And that leads to my next tip…

3) Use stronger verbs!
There are hundreds of thousands of words in the English language but most of us use only in the low tens of thousands on a regular basis. Look at only verbs and the number we use regularly drops dramatically. Common verbs like look, walk, stand, sit are overused in our fiction. They also do little to illustrate or color the action. Does this mean you should pull up a thesaurus and replace them all with synonyms? No. Don’t replace them with any synonym—replace them with a better verb.

Basic: He stood up.

Stronger: He jolted out of his seat.

The second version of the line above is stronger because it shows us that the “he” is either in a hurry, startled, or anxious. “Jolted” provides more information.

If there isn’t a better choice, stick with the more common word. It’s better for the verb to add nothing than to distract the reader or detract from the other strong writing around it. “He jolted out of his seat” would make little sense if he then limped to the fridge for another beer.

Putting these three quick techniques to work is sure to punch up your prose, because the strength of your writing is in the details!

This article first appeared in Coastal Connections, a publication of First Coast Romance Writers. It was reprinted in Connections a publication of Connecticut Romance Writers and Monarch e-News a publication of Monterey Bay Romance Writers. I happy to now be able to share it with you here.

Three Tips for Setting the Scene without Slowing Pace

Writers have always relied on description to immerse the reader in the story world, but modern readers of popular fiction expect a story to be told at a brisk pace. That means you’ll have to work a little harder to bring your setting to life …and your descriptions will have to do the same. Here are three quick tips to ensure your description is applied with a deft touch that will enrich your story without slowing it down.

Put Your Character In Motion

Whenever you choose the setting for a scene, consider how your characters will be able to interact with the setting. This is especially important in any scene that will require a great deal of description to orient the reader. Anytime you introduce a new or unfamiliar location you’ll need to spend a few words on description and in some genres, such as historical or paranormal fiction, settings may be even less familiar to the reader. If you can sprinkle in your setting description as the character moves through it or interacts with it, you’ll avoid a clunky block of description and the effort will be seamless.

For example:

The wooden slats beneath his boots shifted in the mud, most splintered with wear.

In this brief example, the character is moving through a town in a historical setting. This simple line of description will serves as a single brush stroke in the picture that is painted throughout a scene.

Use Setting To Carry Emotion

Emotion is at the heart of most good fiction. Readers are hungry for it. It is, arguably, the thing that makes reading worth the investment of time and the consequent of eye strain. When you use setting to carry or convey emotion, readers will be more indulgent.

For example:

Shocked by the icy blast of air that stung her eyes and the cold mush beneath her bare feet, she reminded herself it was only a dream. Besides, the scene unfolding captivated her beyond caring about a little discomfort. Her dream giant, Gunnar they’d called him, strode quickly through a snowy landscape toward a barrel-chested fellow with a long salt-and-pepper beard. Or maybe it was frost in his beard, she couldn’t be sure. The whole world seemed to be covered in snow or frost. A gray pallor spread across the sky, shot through with the barest hint of light struggling up from the horizon.

Because this passage from a short story I wrote is used to convey my time-traveling heroine’s shock and sense of unreality at suddenly arriving in ancient Norway, the reader will likely indulge in a bigger chunk of what is primarily scene setting description.

Focus On Significant Details
Not all details are created equal and not everything in your story needs to be described. Focus your powers of description on things that are important to your story—the significant details. What makes a detail significant?

Any detail that is integral to the plot must be shared. In another time-travel story, I had to describe the broach responsible for my heroine’s time-travel early in the story. Dropping it in out of the blue at the end of the story would have been cheating the reader. However, in the same scene, there was no need for a detailed description of the floor, the fireplace, the…you get the point.

Another type of significant detail is one that shows the reader something about the character or his situation. Again, one of the first things my time-traveling heroine notices about the hero is that he is dressed differently than the other men in the room. He’s been living abroad for five years. In a way, they are both outsiders within the group. Sometimes these types of details are very subtle or symbolic like the heroine mentioned earlier, who ended up barefoot in the snow. I chose to make her barefoot to subtly tell the reader she is vulnerable and to drive home that she is unprepared for her adventure. She is out of her element—somewhere she doesn’t belong.

If you keep these three tips in mind, there is no reason your description and setting shouldn’t be able to draw your reader into the story world without slowing pace.

This article first appeared at www.savvyauthors.com