The most common mistake beginning fiction writers make is focusing on what happens, or external plot, while neglecting emotion. It isn’t the writers’ fault. They’ve been taught to do this. In school, facts are often preferred over subjective feelings, reactions, and interpretations. In modern fiction, emotion is critical to good storytelling.
I often forget the titles of favorite books I’ve read, but I never forget the characters. By the end of a good novel, I’ve grown close to them and experienced their joys, fears, and passions. In character-focused fiction, emotions drive the story as much, if not more, than the plot. The emotions must be as carefully crafted as any other element of the story. Let’s take a look at a scene from Night Sins by Tami Hoag:
Hannah shook her head. Her hand trembled violently as she set her mug back on the tray, sloshing coffee over the rim. Ignoring the mess, she folded herself in two, hugging her knees, dry sobs racking her body. Someone had stolen her son. In the blink of an eye Josh was gone from their lives, taken by a faceless stranger to a nameless place for a purpose no mother ever wanted to consider. She wondered if he was cold, if he was frightened, if he was thinking of her and wondering why she hadn’t come for him. She wondered if he was alive.
Although Hannah’s emotions are never explicitly identified in this passage, it is hard not to experience the agony, guilt, and fear of a mother whose child has been abducted. One of the first rules of writing good fiction is ‘show, don’t tell.’ ‘Telling’ the emotions present in a scene, would only distance the reader from the very emotions the author intended her to experience. So, by what means do we show emotion?
The Five Elements of Emotion in Fiction
Actions
The character’s actions are an outward indicator of inner feelings. When confronted with a fire-breathing monster the character turns and runs. He is feeling fear.
Dialogue
Dialogue is another outward indicator of emotion. At times it’s appropriate for a character to label their own emotions, but this can be as flat as labeling emotions in narration. More often the dialogue will indicate emotion in some indirect way. Later the fleeing character’s partner asks, “How could you just leave me there to face that monster alone? Did you want me to die?” We understand the character is feeling betrayed.
Body Language
You’ve heard that body language is 90 percent of communication. I don’t know how accurate that is, but the idea is an important one. Body language is super easy to add into dialogue tags to boost or contradict the words your characters speak. A character can claim to be happy, but you know there is more to the story if they are gripping the steering wheel so tightly their knuckles turn white.
Physical Reactions
Physical sensations, that tight feeling in the characters chest, the frantic heartbeat, and other telltale signs of some reaction can convey emotion convincingly. Keep in mind; however, a single reaction could be interpreted differently under different circumstances. A rapid heartbeat could be caused by excitement, fear, arousal, or simply exertion. It can be tricky to find new ways to word these generic reactions, but it is important to avoid overusing common phrases, such as “her heart leapt into her throat.”
Thoughts
A character might reveal emotions in their thoughts, but again avoid labeling. The character doesn’t think, “I’m angry.” She thinks, “I wanted to slap the smirk off his face.”
The passage from Night Sins incorporated actions, physical reactions, and thoughts to build a gripping, emotional scene. When a character’s emotions are straightforward all of these indicators can be used in combination to make those emotions crystal clear. When the character is feeling one emotion and trying to outwardly portray some other emotion, you’ll need to use contradicting indicators. This is bound to happen at some point in the story. The dragon slayer puts on a brave front, but inwardly he’s terrified. Typically, body language, physical reaction, and thoughts reflect the true underlying emotion while actions and dialogue convey what the character wants other characters to believe.
Complex Emotions
All of the techniques discussed so far, focus on the emotions of the moment. It is important not to forget the big picture. In a great novel, the characters are complex and their emotions change over time. Fiction is all about conflict, both external and internal. Emotional conflicts often come from conflicting motivations, desires, and goals. The character wants two things that conflict: to exact revenge on Mr. X—to keep the love and respect of Mr. X’s daughter. The character might love the daughter and at the same time resent her for standing in the way of his goal of revenge. The key to pulling off complex emotions is in laying the groundwork. Characters must be consistent to be believable. If you merely show moment-to-moment emotional reactions that conflict, the reader will be confused. Carefully build the reader’s understanding of each emotion and motivation before you mix conflicting emotions into a complex scene.
Conflict and emotions drive your novel forward and keep your reader involved. The time you spend motivating them and helping the reader understand your characters is crucial to successfully crafting a complex, rich story your reader will remember long after The End.
